Connect and Conquer: Rewriting the Myth of Virgin Sacrifice and Burning the Spellbook of Patriarchy
We’ve been told the myth of the virgin sacrifice was about purity and protection. But the truth is far more insidious—and far more empowering once it’s revealed. This blog excavates some of the stories that taught us to be small, obedient, and silent. Through myth, memory, and sacred rebellion, we unravel the patriarchal spell that made self-sacrifice a virtue and disconnection a survival strategy.
But the spell is breaking.
Connect and Conquer is a rally cry to reclaim our erotic power, rewrite the myth, and rise in sovereign sisterhood. This is more than a blog—it’s a living altar to the women we’ve been, the truths we carry, and the myths we’re ready to set aflame.
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The Path Through the Flames of This Spell-Breaking Post
🌑 The Spell We’ve Been Under
🗡️ Virgin Sacrifice: A System, Not a Story
🪓 The Old Spell: Divide, Sacrifice & Conquer
🕸️ The Legacy of Disconnection
🪞 Shattered Reflection: The Mirror Spell
🔥 The Turning Point: Connection as Sacred Rebellion
🌹 The New Spell: Connect & Conquer
🕯️ Virgin Sacrifice Rewritten
🪡 Reweaving the Web
📜 An Incantation to Carry You Forward
Smash the mirror, light the candle, and step into your own reflection…
The Spell We've Been Under
We’ve been under a spell.
Not the moonlit, magical kind with talking animals and forest witches.
A colder spell. An older one.
It told us our power lived in purity. In silence. In pleasing others.
A spell that demanded we sacrifice ourselves for others.
A spell that contorted us into nice girls who throw ourselves under the bus. Or catty bitch girls who throw each other under the bus. 😡
But we remember now.
We remember the fire. We remember the wild. 🔥
We remember that connection - not fear or control - is our true source of power.
This is the unbinding.
This is how we connect and conquer.
Virgin Sacrifice: A System, Not a Story
In many ancient cultures, the “virgin” held symbolic value. “Virgin” didn’t mean sexually untouched - that’s a modern, patriarchal twist. To the ancients, “virgin” meant sovereignty. A woman fully possessed of herself. Unclaimed. Belonging to no man. Owned by no one.
That made her powerful. And threatening.
So what did dominant power structures do with that threatening power?
They sacrificed her.
Andromeda?
Chained to a rock as an offering to a sea monster (e.g., sacrificed) to atone for her mother’s vanity. Until Perseus rescues her. A classic damsel-in-distress-rescued-by-a-man story. 🙄
Medusa?
Violated by Poseidon in Athena’s temple. Athena doesn’t punish Poseidon. She punishes Medusa. Transforms her into a gorgon - her once beautiful hair turned into hissing snakes. Her gaze turned lethal.
Beauty and the Beast?
Beauty trades her freedom to save her father. Offering herself to the Beast. The maiden sacrifices her freedom to tame the monstrous masculine.
And when they fell in love? We’re supposed to swoon. As if love erases the sacrifice. Stockholm Syndrome wrapped in a fairytale bow.
A masterclass in conditioning: teaching girls that love requires self-sacrifice and that taming the beast is their sacred duty.
Snow White?
Hunted and poisoned for her beauty. Preserved in a glass coffin. Perfect, powerless, and silent. A prince falls for her while she’s unconscious.
Because what’s less threatening than a women who can’t say no?
His kiss “revives” her. Is it just me, or does this read more like a fairytale-flavored date rape fantasy?
Elfaba?
Not wicked. Just unwilling to betray her truth.
She stood for what was right. And was branded wrong.
Feared. Cast out. Sacrificed.
So she did what powerful women do when the world demands their submission: she disappeared. Not to die, but to live free. On her own terms.
The myth of the virgin sacrifice is more than just a story. It’s a system. A spell. A strategy. It’s the premise of many fairytales.
It’s a way of severing women from their power by turning them into sacrificial offerings.
In this spell, we’re praised for being good. Pure. Small. Accommodating. Chaste. Conforming.
We’re taught to disconnect.
From our body.
Our voice.
Our knowing.
Our desire.
Our pleasure.
Our power.
Why?
Because we’re powerful AF when we’re connected to ourselves.
And we’re even more powerful when we’re connected to others.
The Old Spell: Divide, Sacrifice & Conquer
You know the old saying divide and conquer?
Here’s how Merriam-Webster defines it: “to make a group of people disagree and fight with one another so that they will not join together against one.”
Divide and Conquer is an ancient military and political strategy.
A sinister and effective spell to keep the people divided so they’re easier to rule.
Racism? Sexism? Ageism? Social Classism? Ableism? Genderism? All Divide and Conquer strategies.
We were taught to disconnect from ourselves. And from each other.
Because divided women don’t rise.
They self-sacrifice. Or turn against one another.
That’s what they - the elite, the powerful, the patriarchy - want. For us to divide. Separate. Fight with and fear each other. Pit ourselves against each other.
So we can be controlled.
So we won’t rise up together.
The Legacy of Disconnection
Patriarchy thrives on disconnection - it’s its tool of choice.
We became disconnected from our pleasure, our intuition, our sisters, our ancestors, our lineage, our truth, our own erotic wisdom.
We became conquerable.
Patriarchy doesn’t need whips or chains when we’re already bound by silence and shame.
For centuries - millennium - women’s erotic, mystical, and relational powers were not only misunderstood, they were feared, vilified, and systematically erased.
These powers weren’t frivolous or ornamental. They were foundational.
Erotic power was the pulse of life itself.
Mystical power connected us to the unseen realms, to intuition, to nature’s cycles.
Relational power didn’t just soothe. It ignited. It was the cauldron where love, truth, and trust were brewed.
But this kind of power isn’t easily controlled by empire, church, or patriarchy.
So it was silenced.
Eroticism? Recast as sin.
Mysticism? Rebranded as madness or witchcraft - burned at the stake.
Relational wisdom? Reduced to emotional labor, unpaid and unrecognized.
The sacred was stripped from the body.
The intuitive was severed from knowledge.
The erotic was divorced from the divine.
This erasure wasn’t accidental. It was a strategy of control. Because a woman in full possession of her erotic, mystical, and relational power?
She can’t be conquered.
She connects.
And then she rises. 🔥
Shattered Reflection: The Mirror Spell
They told us to look in the mirror and see what they wanted us to see. Obedience. Flaw. Shame. Silence.
But what if the mirror lies?
What if the mirror is a spell in glass?
In one of my recent plant medicine journeys, I saw the mirror shatter. Not just metaphorically, but literally.
I heard the crack of glass and watched framed mirrors fly from a dusty file cabinet inside my mind. Files of who I used to be.
Versions of me I no longer needed. Reflections I no longer needed because I busted through the illusion.
Gone.
Seven years bad luck? Please. Breaking the mirror broke an illusion.
What if shattering the mirror is the beginning of seven years of freedom?
Seven years of truth. Of wild power. Of sacred reflection that comes from within.
We no longer need their mirrors. Their frames. Their rules about how we should look, feel, love, or live.
We don’t fix the glass.
We dance in the shards.
We conjure new reflections in the embers.
And we name ourselves sovereign.
The Turning Point: Connection as Sacred Rebellion
Connection is the crack in the armor of patriarchy.
It’s the beginning of a sacred rebellion.
Connection is an act of radical reclamation.
This is where the spell cracks. Where connection unbinds what control once held.
Connection to self - body, pleasure, shadow, emotions, desire.
Connection to others - intimacy, sisterhood, soul family, ancestors, nature, animals, winged creatures, insects.
Connection to mystery - ritual, spirit, divine feminine, the erotic unknown.
Liberating the parts of ourselves that were sacrificed, hidden, or tamed.
It’s the magic of meeting yourself so intimately, so tenderly, that no external power can distort your truth.
It’s connection as rebellion - to you body, to the fire in your belly and the tears in your eyes.
It’s what happens when women stop asking for permission and start lighting candles with their own damn sparks. 🕯️
The New Spell: Connect & Conquer
Let’s weave a new spell into our tapestry…
Connect and Conquer.
As a sacred subversion of the patriarchal divide and conquer strategy.
Connect and conquer isn’t about war. It’s about weaving, remembering, and reclaiming what became forbidden.
In a world that taught us to compete, shrink, or disappear, Connect and Conquer is a reclamation.
We don’t divide - we weave.
We don’t compete - we rise together.
We conquer the systems. The shackles that once kept us small.
We conquer the internalized fear.
We connect with each other.
And we rise together.
To Connect and Conquer is to reclaim the weapons they told us to lay down:
💫 Boundaries
💫 Desire
💫 Pleasure
💫 Sisterhood
💫 Spells
💫 Erotic Power
When we connect to our own body, to each other, to the Earth, to the goddesses who walk with us - we become ungovernable.
We don’t conquer others.
We conquer the cages.
The scripts.
The silence.
The shame.
The shrinking.
The old spell itself.
So, what now?
What do we do with this knowing?
We rewrite the myth.
We reclaim the fire.
We resurrect the sovereign.
Virgin Sacrifice Rewritten
In this new myth, the virgin is not sacrificed.
She is initiated.
She walks willingly into the fire - not to die, but to remember.
She surrenders what no longer serves her.
And from the smoke, she rises - reborn, sovereign, and untamed.
She doesn’t give her power away.
She alchemizes it.
She uses practices like ritual, erotic embodiment, grief alchemy, and vulnerable storytelling to break the spell.
Like Snow White, modern femmes are still being conditioned to sleep through their own lives.
But the new story?
We’re not resting.
We’re remembering.
And we’re not waiting to be kissed by some creeper prince.
We’re conjuring the storm. ⛈️
And sacrificing the things that separate us from our sovereignty. From our ancient virginity. 🌹
Reweaving the Web
And so, here we are.
Remembering. Reweaving. Reclaiming the fire.
The old spell is broken.
The new one begins with us.
We’ve unraveled the old curse that pitted purity against power, isolation against ecstasy, silence against sovereignty.
Now, we gather the torn threads of our bodies, our desires, our voices, and weave them into a new tapestry of fierce communion.
This is our sacred rebellion: choosing presence over perfection, connection over control, ritual over resignation.
When we join hands - body to body, heart to heart, spirit to spirit - we weave an unbreakable web of love, laughter, and legacy.
We don’t wait for a hero’s rescue.
We become the storm, the phoenix flame, the living proof that no spell can cage us when we rise together. 🔥
An Incantation to Carry You Forward
Whisper this into your bones:
I remember.
I rise.
My fire is not a threat. It’s a torch.
I do not shrink. I shimmer.
I connect and conquer.
I burn the old script.
And write my own myth in smoke and starlight.
What are you ready to reclaim?
Let this spell echo into your bones, then step forward—into circle, into ritual, into the wildest promise of your own becoming. 🌱
Love,
Heidi
If you’re called to go deeper, I invite you to step into my Virgin Sacrifice cauldron, where we live this magic of symbolic death, alchemy, and rebirth. 🔥
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